Thank you, Emily. I am an ally, and see this from the outside. Our society is a long way from solving this problem; we are told from infancy how we should look and how we shouldn’t. This pressure is large and for trans people it’s even larger. As you say, the discomfort cis people feel when they think they’re not attractive enough often translates to fear and paranoia for trans people, so much that stealth is an option that many look for. And of course those who can’t pass find stealth impossible.

I wish I had an answer.