Thank you, Zada! I am an old grandpa ally... I had a little trouble with #1 once when a friend came out... I said "you are so brave" and they said, "I had no choice"... my friend is one of the bravest people I know.

Also, as an ally I do not ever think I will ask #11. I have been blessed to have heard people's stories, but I wait for them to bring them up. If they don't, no problem. Their being trans is such a small part of who they are! I spent much of yesterday talking about great films and directors with my friend, who worked in the movie industry... my friend is a polymath. We talk about physics, chemistry, biology, the stock market... the list is long and I can barely keep up, but I love it!

I have found (no surprise here!) the longer I know someone, and eventually, after we become friends, the person will often tell me things about their journey. My sense, (I could be wrong, often am!) is that many trans people are so isolated they have no one to talk to they can trust. This makes me so sad.